TW: dieting, weight loss

Once upon a time, a beautiful girl met a handsome man, and they fell in love. Then, they had a baby. And finally, after he stopped being such a wimp, the man asked the woman to marry him. She said yes.

And then she told me that I “get” to be a bridesmaid. The man is my brother. The baby is my nephew, who got his mom’s dimples and is the cutest baby ever (that isn’t up for debate). And the beautiful girl forcing me to wear a dress in front of all our family and friends is going to be my sister in law. 9 months folks. Only 9 months.

Normal people would think, “Awesome, I get to be in a wedding!” Some might think, “I should probably lose a couple pounds before I send in my dress measurements.” My thought process, ruled by an eating disorder, is currently more along the lines of, “I’m a fat cow and if I wear a dress my chubby thighs will rub together all damn day.” And, of course, the dreaded, “Congratulations on being the fattest bridesmaid.”

Y’all can see where this is going. I’m currently in a rough patch eating-wise. I fell into yet another cycle of being unable to control myself, binging multiple times a day for nearly two weeks now. It’s to the point that I can’t look at myself in the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted.

Not exactly the kind of attitude you want to have when you’re about to be in a wedding. Luckily, the wedding is nine months away, and I’ve got a little bit of time to lose some weight. I’m in this weird middle ground where, yes, I have an eating disorder, but I’m also overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds. In a healthy way, of course.

Enter Intermittent Fasting. IF is basically periods of not eating, followed by periods of eating. Which sounds like normal eating, but hear me out. My particular “rules” say that I can only eat between noon and 8pm. It’s basically like skipping breakfast, but you still eat the same amount of calories in the day.

Thanks to researchers across the world, there’s quite a bit of scientific evidence saying that IF can help you burn fat, even though you aren’t starving yourself. I’m not going to bore you with those particular details.

What I will bore you with is this: so far, IF has been a way for me to control my binge eating. How? I have no idea. But I’m going to find out. Stay tuned for details.

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